Does an abuser ever deserve a second chance?
I dated someone almost 10 years ago and it ended the night he hit me. That was the first time in our 2 years and the last. We hadn’t spoken since that incident. I recently sent a letter, for closure..to get some things off my chest. He called in response to my letter, and in my heart of hearts, I still feel like he’s my match, the person I was made to be with. I’ve dated some over the years, but I’ve never found someone that I click with in such a way. I am very confused, I thought that I was over him..though apparently I wasn’t since I felt the need to send a letter. Now I feel like I’ve opened Pandora’s box and my heart is bursting with emotion that I cannot reign in. Is this part of the healing process…do I take a chance in the hopes that it was a fluke and he’d never do it again?
STOP!
Go no further.
Once an abuser–alas–always an abuser.
Ok, not always. But almost always.
And like most abusers, your guy is probably REALLY good at tugging at your heartstrings and making you forget the ugly realty of his abuse. He is probably painting pretty pictures in your head of the lovely future that awaits you because (drum roll, please) he has CHANGED. But guess what? He’s still the same old dog.
The real question isn’t whether you should go back to this guy, but WHY you are attracted to him in the first place.
You deserve better. Don’t give in to your emotions (which, hello, are whack if you are attracted to an abuser). Be WISE. Keep walking.
And don’t send him any more letters. It’s over. Period. Amen.
PANDORA’S BOX – Lulu’s Mr Brightside
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